Chaos Love: love, life, design and more.

Nothing makes you realise just how darn fat you were more than some good old fashioned before and after photos... and I've got some of the best, thanks to the DMV. The one on the left is from my instructional permit, and was taken on November 20th last year, when I was probably at my portliest. The one on the right is from my new Oregon Driver's Licence, taken last Tuesday.

Freakin' scary.

Posted in: chaosboy, general musings on May 1, 2009 at at 4:21:00 PM 1 comments    

Let's get one thing straight: Portland – or more specifically, Portland TV news – is obsessed with the weather. Maybe it's because the four local stations, KATU 2, KOIN 6, KGW 8 and FOX 12 all seem to have four news shows running directly after each other and they need to fill them with something. And I'm not kidding here... the evening schedule on KATU looks something like this.

• The 4 o'clock news (FIRST AT FOUR!)
• The 5 o'clock news
• The 6 o'oclock (national) news
• The 6.30 news
• Some other TV programs getting in the way of more news
• The 11 o'clock news

Geez! Really? Portland ain't that big of a town and, when it comes down to it, not a lot happens here. So for one network to give us more than four hours of local news a day (there's also the morning news to consider!) is kinda ludicrous.

So it ain't surprising that they fill a lot of this time with inane banter between the anchors and that great time-filler, the weather. On a really slow news day, the weather can be the big top story of the day. "And in breaking news, we cross to Rod, our chief meteorologist, for more news on that rain that could be coming our way on Veterans' Day." I made that story up, but it's not too far from the truth.

Each channel prides itself on its extensive weather coverage: "Your Storm Watch Team!" intones the Voice Over Man™ solemnly, or, "your trained local meteorologists!" followed by, "Doppler 8000 radar!!!" (whatever that actually is!) and every channel has a veritable arsenal of weather cameras dotted around northern Oregon. Out at the coast, along the Columbia River, on every tall building in Portland – just waiting to show you what it currently looks like outside. I dunno, if I wanted to know what it was like outside right now, I could just... go outside.

Look, we all like to know what the weather's going to be like (although at this time of year in Portland, "rainy and cold" is probably the answer pretty much every day), but do we really need vast tracts of time every night given over to the subject? I really bet the forecast hasn't changed that much in the five minutes since they last gave it to us...

Posted in: chaosboy, general musings, portland, weather on November 9, 2008 at at 6:32:00 PM 0 comments    

The big news here in the US lately has been how the national average price for gas has reached $US4 per US gallon (oddly, not the same as an Imperial gallon). Apparently it spells the end of the world as we know it or something. So I did some quick sums based on a recent Sydney Morning Herald article that stated that petrol prices had reached 171.9 cents a litre in Sydney.

Works out Sydneysiders are paying the equivalent of $US6.13 a gallon for petrol or thereabouts. Ouch. There's always someone worse off than you. Makes me glad I ride a bike, that's for sure!

Posted in: australia, chaosboy, general musings, united states on June 18, 2008 at at 3:20:00 PM 1 comments    

We're all familiar with them: ads on TV that include a little warning in them, either as a caption or a voice over. Do Not Attempt, they say, or Consult Your Doctor If Pain Persists... that kind of stuff. In general, they're a good idea: no one should take their new Audi out and attempt handbrake turns on the freeway like you see on all the car ads these days.

It's just that in America there are so damn many of these disclaimers. Sometimes it seems like every ad on TV has a disclaimer warning you about something. There's even car ads which proclaim Professional driver on closed course. Do not attempt. when all the car is doing is driving within the speed limit down a perfectly ordinary road!

Or how about the ad for earwax spray which shows a guy sticking a toilet plunger onto the side of his head in a futile (and obviously comedic) effort to dislodge earwax. Do not attempt, the caption solemnly intones, like we'd all think that a plumber's friend is the instant solution to waxy buildup, rather than the erstwhile product the ad is spruiking.

I know that the advertisers are just covering their butts in today's increasingly litigious society, but where will it end? And is the general public really that stupid?

And don't even get me started on the plague that is pharmaceutical TV advertising in America. These ads totally dominate prime time viewing and have to be seen to be believed. They tend to be a minute long, as they have to list every single potential side effect and problem that could arise from use of the product. And they're for everything: Viagra (and all the other "ED" products), osteoporosis, high blood pressure, sleeping pills and so on, ad infinitum.

It's fun when the advertiser tries to integrate the disclaimer into the narrative of the ad, such as making the protagonist actually visit a doctor (resplendent in white coat, of course) who proceeds to list all the side effects in excruciating detail, finishing with "and of course, see me if any of these things occur." It's all terribly reassuring.

But most of the time the ads just admit defeat and just show our heroes dancing around or leading happy, full lives while Serious Voice Over Artist™ runs through the litany of things that could happen to you for a full 30 seconds or more. It's kind of surreal, because the side effects always sound worse than the problem they're trying to treat. "Oh, so I don't have a blocked nose any more, but I might have headaches, blurred vision, a bloody nose or experience extreme nausea. Great!"

Finally, there's car ads which include financing offers. These tend to display an entire screen of miniscule terms and conditions (the real "small print") for a period of somewhat less than a second. Having worked on some car ads for the Daewoo dealership network back in Australia, I can safely say that you'd never get away with this there, as all type shown on screen in an advertisement has to be readable by a "reasonable" person. This would force these US car ads to be about half an hour long however, so it's probably best the way it is. I feel that Full terms and conditions of your lease agreement can be found at your local BMW dealership might be a better and more transparent way of going about things, however.

Posted in: chaosboy, general musings, united states on June 9, 2008 at at 10:25:00 AM 0 comments    

It's kind of hard to believe, but today marks one year since I arrived in the US to live. One year already! And in that time I've done so much:

1. Married my wonderful girl
2. Gone head to head with US Immigration (and emerged victorious... eventually!)
3. Found (some) work
4. Flown to the other side of the country and back (up to 10 states visited now!)
5. Gone on a road trip
6. Made great friends
7. Discovered that good beer does exist in America and most of it is in Portland!
8. Clocked up more than 1,500 miles (2,400km) on my bike

And that's only the tip of the iceberg! Things have been a little tough at times, but Christine and I have managed to muddle our way through it all together, and I can't say I've ever felt happier in my life. Every time things look grim, financially or otherwise, something will come along and rectify the situation; whether it's Christine winning a prize through work, my back pay from Vein finally coming through or whatever... life is good, and the weather is starting to get nicer, too! Roll on the next year!

Posted in: chaosboy, general musings, immigration, portland on May 15, 2008 at at 1:29:00 PM 0 comments    

In news today from America, Starbucks will be shutting down its 7,100 company-owned stores this afternoon in order to – and this is true, I swear!– teach its staff how to make coffee.

Not surprisingly, Starbucks' competitors are having a field day with this, offering half-price or even free coffee to ensure that everyone gets enough caffeine during those dark hours. I could insert some witticism or comment here, but in this case, actions really do speak louder than words.

Read the full story here.

And this is kind of funny too (Not to mention true!).

Posted in: chaosboy, general musings, united states on February 26, 2008 at at 2:55:00 PM 2 comments    

I really shouldn't write any more on this blog without first noting the passing of my maternal grandmother, Joan Gregory. Always a kind, friendly, loving and generous person, I don't think I really knew how much I would miss her until the very end.

Posted in: chaosboy, general musings on January 10, 2008 at at 7:20:00 PM 1 comments    

Hey there.

I know its been some time since I've done this crazy blog. It's not like we have been super busy, but maybe just getting more and more super comfortable. And with winter coming in, we'd better get used to it.

But I was thinking tonight of all the things that Cam has done since he's arrived to this wacky country. Like tonight in particular. We went to our favorite rock climbing gym, The Portland Gym, and Cam was fabulous. He had just exchanged his new shoes the other day and he was flying up walls. Whereas a month ago, I was practically hauling him up on my end of the rope. He has adapted and is getting better all the time. Since I have a year head start on him, I must be the patient one, but I'll make him catch up with me sooner or later. There is so much trust in rock climbing. And the more confident he gets, the more he trusts me that I won't let him plummet to the floor just for a laugh. It's good. We really need to take pictures, but it's always weird taking pictures in a gym where other people are sweaty... and wary of lenses.

Also, Cam has taken over my projects. I'm not fussed whatsoever, as it keeps him quite the entertained while I slave away the day at work. Colin's new website looks amazing - www.colinlake.com - and also he is not quite satisfied with the Wellington Road Moores site which he is taking into his own hands soon. I keep feeding him missions so he can keep his mind busy. Whether it's laundry or design, it seems rare when he is bored.

Not to mention that we have been suckered into technology more and more. Cam has made our house a network mecca. Everything connects to something else wirelessly. And now with our new iPhones we can connect to the outside world even easier (Cam had the cheapest T-mobile phone and I had the oldest, both of which met their demise) and makes our lives more integrated with the pizza joints nearby in our neighborhood. You know, wherever we are, that will be useful for the winter ;)

Posted in: apple, chaosgurl, general musings, sport on September 24, 2007 at at 10:34:00 PM 0 comments    

As a wacky wedded couple.

You could say things are back to normal, but normal for us has never been settling down in the least. I keep wanting to get to the blogs but there is just too much to do than write a paragraph on the internet sometimes. Between concerts, streetfests, or just going to IKEA, sleep is just about all we do whenever we are home. But sometimes you just got to post a picture and put some words around it.

Like right now, Cam is re-building his Transformers army. It is a task that he will not relinquish until they are all standing at attention awaiting admiration. Of course, all I can do is admire him and his dedication to a passion in his life: transforming toys. With all the new shelving, there will be enough room for everyone. He has the largest collection of anything that I have ever seen a person have. And I will have to learn to work all these guys eventually. It's somewhere in the contract.

Other than that, we are off tomorrow for another venture to the East coast. Cam is excited to visit more states, while I'm stoked to lay on a beach again. Seeing family is always super fun and there will be plenty to go around. Until then, the blogs may be more postponed than usual!

Posted in: chaosgurl, general musings, transformers on August 1, 2007 at at 10:53:00 PM 0 comments    

Thoughts on getting married tomorrow.

I would like to tell myself that nothing will be different when Cam and I get married. We will continue living on just as we have before. A day that we have made a vow will only reinforce what we already know and feel about each other. Or will it?

Marriage has its connotations. Unlike dating when there is always the question lingering if anything will become of it or not, marriage is the top notch; the end of the line; the end of the great search. And its relieving of course. The both of you are on the same page now. You can sit back and completely relax on the other person knowing they will not just get up and walk away.

Marriage had never appealed to me. I agreed to it because it was a government requirement in order for Cam and I to be together. I cherish my freedom. But thinking into it further, the concept is a seed that can grow in your brain, it becomes bigger and consumes you and you must wonder... why didn't I do this sooner? Why couldn't I have met Cam like 2 years ago? Where would I be? Certainly ahead of where I am now!

So in conclusion, Yay for getting married! Yay for us! By being together, we can now collaborate on great projects, trips, get great jobs, and expand our little new world. Now that the questioning is over, we can finally move forward!

And as for a main answer on why Cam and I are dressed as astronauts... A: because we are beginning an exploration into the rest of our lives and B: the ceremony won't be boring as hell when we force everyone to watch it.

Posted in: chaosgurl, general musings, wedding on July 20, 2007 at at 3:57:00 PM 0 comments    

This is the first in an occasional series about things that I feel are different between Australia and the US... just stuff that I have observed and feel is noteworthy, and perhaps more importantly, whether I like it or not!

So today's discussion point is bar tabs. Whenever you go into a pub, bar or brewpub here in Portland, the bar staff will always ask you whether you want to run a tab. It doesn't matter if it's just you or a group of people, one drink or many, they'll still ask you. Tabs in Australia are generally only run for large groups and often only with prior arrangement with management, so this took a little while for me to get my head around.

So you hand over your credit or debit card and it gets kept behind the counter, often in an unused glass. You can then order all your drinks and food throughout the night without having to fish for money, or having to leave behind dollar bills for tips each time you buy a drink. At the end of the night, you simply ask for your tab, add one tip based on the total amount spent, sign your name and head off. Just don't forget to take your card back, or even worse, forget you have a tab running and just leave!

Overall, Chaosboy gives bar tabs American style a big thumbs up, if only because it stops me worrying about how much I should tip for each round of drinks!

Posted in: chaosboy, general musings, portland, united states on June 23, 2007 at at 10:55:00 AM 0 comments    

On the night before I leave Australia, my family and my friends for Portland and my wonderful Christine, I think it's time to reflect a bit...

Just on two and a half years ago, I was a broken man. My world had been turned upside down, all that I knew had been destroyed by what I can only describe as an utter betrayal by the person I trusted most in the whole world. And I didn't react very well at the time. Looking back now, I really think I was in a state of shock for the first six months - I simply couldn't believe this had happened to me. I did some weird things like shaving all my hair off and trying to get in touch with girls I used to vaguely talk to ten or more years ago... goodness knows why. Neither of these were particularly successful ventures, either.

I finally started to pull myself together, thanks in no small part to the effort of my brother Tim, who hauled my sorry ass along to the Shootout Festival up in Newcastle... I was getting out of my horrid little apartment, talking to other people, having fun. I even flirted a bit, something I hadn't done for years and years... and it felt good. Nothing came of it, and I never expected it to, but it was an important step for me.

Once Sian made it perfectly clear that there was absolutely no room in her life for me at all, things became even easier. It simply hardened my resolve to prove to myself that all her assumptions about me were wrong, that I was better than she - and maybe even I - had thought. I became far more confident in my outlook to life, shedding the strange "absent minded" persona that I had come to adopt in my relationship with Sian... some kind of peculiar defence mechanism, perhaps? Having no one else to fall back on meant that if I wanted something done, I had to do it myself... and that was probably the best thing for me. My nervousness (verging on phobia) about phone calls and unknown situations simply disappeared.

I also felt an overwhelming need to express myself creatively, something that I think had been supressed or subverted in my relationship with Sian. I feel that she simply wanted so much of my time that there wasn't any room left for me. I bought a Canon digital SLR and totally immersed myself in photography. I get tremendous pleasure out of my photography and I feel like I am always improving and challenging myself with it, trying new techniques and looking for that perfect/unusual shot. It's something that I need to do to be me.

And suddenly, I was happy again. Confident, smiling, relaxed. Friends and workmates noticed it and told me. The funny thing is, I didn't feel like a new person, I simply felt like I had rediscovered what it meant to be me instead of worrying about how I was perceived by others.

And this is who Christine observed, admired, desired and fell in love with. Just me, as I am. No pretensions, no illusions, no lies, no bullshit. She saw, she liked. And that's one of the most wonderful things of all; that who I am is enough.

Of course, since she has come into my life, I've just gone from strength to strength... the guy who once hated picking up the phone has now single-handedly obtained a K-1 Fiance Visa (complete with all the associated hoop jumping), moved all his belongings to another country and will soon be in the process of organising a wedding, moving house and seeking employment! And not only that, I'm thriving on it... I feel so alive, so ready to take on anything. So, you'll have to indulge me a bit at this point and allow me to say, just this one time: "Sian, you were wrong."

Tomorrow marks the start of a whole new exciting chapter for me, truly "the first day of the rest of my life". I'm not nervous or scared at all, but totally excited and so ready for whatever happens. I've had to come a long way in this last two and a half years, but I have learned so much about myself in the process... who I am and what I need out of life. A voyage of discovery, perhaps? One that has only just begun. See you all in the States!

Chaos Boy

Posted in: chaosboy, chaoslove, general musings on May 14, 2007 at at 4:05:00 PM 1 comments    

You American types probably have not heard of this guy, Josh Pyke, but not only is it a good song but it's an adorable film clip that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Beware of a plentiude of fade outs....


I actually see quite a bit of symbolism in this video beside it's being cute. He sings of memories and how they can be forgotten over time which I believe the chicks represent. The crocodile is you. We have many memories but as time passes, they can fade and disappear as our mind consumes more and more. Anyway, thought I'd share. And by the way, the plant nursery on Mississippi should be getting some new chicks in tomorrow so Kim and i will try to get over there and take some pics! Yay!!!

Posted in: chaosgurl, general musings, music on March 28, 2007 at at 12:03:00 PM 0 comments    

It's true.

In this day and age, protecting your child from violence and the cruelties of the world is improbable. With the internet now at our fingertips we can peruse thousands of sites in our lifetime. Trying to stop it is a hopeless case and watching someone try to stop it is entertaining.

A concerned mother came up to the counter today. She needed to be able to set parental controls on her sons computer. Which is all fair and good. But we asked what she wanted blocked and her answer was "Porn." Weeellll, unfortunately there is no such software that could handle such a task, we explained. The kid was a teenager and she would have to block each site one by one as they came along. But what about Youtube? What about the news? There was way too much out there. And we showed her why. Going through the browswer history, we already saw what kind of kid this was: Hot Topic store, brokenarm.jpg, skydiving accidents, myspace, Gwar events, and on and on.

Just then, the kid saunters up to the counter and asks what his mom is doing. His hair is shaped in a freshly done mohawk. He is shocked to discover that the computer we are all looking at is his and that we know every website he's visited in the last two days. We continue talking to his mother, in front of him, about monitoring him. Recording his keystrokes, checking his browser history daily, blocking groups of sites. The conversation slowly turned over about skydiving and the videos he'd seen lately of people falling from perilous heights and surviving.

The fact of the matter is, when the mother approached, I would have thought she wanted to block a few sites for her 10 year old. But in fact she already had a worldly teen on her hands, who had the curiousity to explore every dark corner of the internet no matter what control she thinks she has. She was obviously quite concerned, but its not the 1950's anymore and god knows, I don't have any great parenting tips, but I think the kid will turn out ok in the end.

Every year, our lives depend more and more on the internet. We count on it to tell us where to go and what to think next. Blocking the internet should become a crime. It's a free world of free speech and uncensorship. Protecting your kids should be not monitoring their every move, but asking them all the time what new things they have discovered. Let the internet be a tool for a common ground of communication between you and your kid, not an obstruction. And thats my parenting advice from someone who knows nothing about parenting!!

And in other news....
Cameron is the cutest cricket player ever!!!

Posted in: chaosgurl, general musings, portland on March 20, 2007 at at 10:00:00 PM 0 comments