America - land of the disclaimer!
We're all familiar with them: ads on TV that include a little warning in them, either as a caption or a voice over. Do Not Attempt, they say, or Consult Your Doctor If Pain Persists... that kind of stuff. In general, they're a good idea: no one should take their new Audi out and attempt handbrake turns on the freeway like you see on all the car ads these days.
It's just that in America there are so damn many of these disclaimers. Sometimes it seems like every ad on TV has a disclaimer warning you about something. There's even car ads which proclaim Professional driver on closed course. Do not attempt. when all the car is doing is driving within the speed limit down a perfectly ordinary road!
Or how about the ad for earwax spray which shows a guy sticking a toilet plunger onto the side of his head in a futile (and obviously comedic) effort to dislodge earwax. Do not attempt, the caption solemnly intones, like we'd all think that a plumber's friend is the instant solution to waxy buildup, rather than the erstwhile product the ad is spruiking.
I know that the advertisers are just covering their butts in today's increasingly litigious society, but where will it end? And is the general public really that stupid?
And don't even get me started on the plague that is pharmaceutical TV advertising in America. These ads totally dominate prime time viewing and have to be seen to be believed. They tend to be a minute long, as they have to list every single potential side effect and problem that could arise from use of the product. And they're for everything: Viagra (and all the other "ED" products), osteoporosis, high blood pressure, sleeping pills and so on, ad infinitum.
It's fun when the advertiser tries to integrate the disclaimer into the narrative of the ad, such as making the protagonist actually visit a doctor (resplendent in white coat, of course) who proceeds to list all the side effects in excruciating detail, finishing with "and of course, see me if any of these things occur." It's all terribly reassuring.
But most of the time the ads just admit defeat and just show our heroes dancing around or leading happy, full lives while Serious Voice Over Artist™ runs through the litany of things that could happen to you for a full 30 seconds or more. It's kind of surreal, because the side effects always sound worse than the problem they're trying to treat. "Oh, so I don't have a blocked nose any more, but I might have headaches, blurred vision, a bloody nose or experience extreme nausea. Great!"
Finally, there's car ads which include financing offers. These tend to display an entire screen of miniscule terms and conditions (the real "small print") for a period of somewhat less than a second. Having worked on some car ads for the Daewoo dealership network back in Australia, I can safely say that you'd never get away with this there, as all type shown on screen in an advertisement has to be readable by a "reasonable" person. This would force these US car ads to be about half an hour long however, so it's probably best the way it is. I feel that Full terms and conditions of your lease agreement can be found at your local BMW dealership might be a better and more transparent way of going about things, however.
Posted in: chaosboy, general musings, united states on June 9, 2008 at at 10:25:00 AM